My reflection on living abroad and not being able to go back
This is my first zine, PowerTransplant.
I made it for myself, and for people like me - those who left their home country for education, work, or love, and later realized that going back is no longer a safe or simple option.
For me, it started with a Fulbright scholarship in 2019, a PhD, and the belief that I would return home and give back what I learned.
After 2022, that plan quietly stopped existing.
I don’t know for sure what would happen if I crossed the Russian border.
Some people do. Some don’t.
But I don’t want to play Russian roulette.
This zine is not about geopolitics.
It’s about home, exile, and the strange feeling of belonging nowhere and everywhere at once.
I asked people from my community — people who also can’t go back — a few simple questions:
- What do you miss most from home?
- When was it hardest?
- What does “home” mean now?
- When did you last feel like you belonged?
Their answers are honest, quiet, sometimes contradictory.
Just like this experience.
Read the zine
👉 Download the full zine (PDF)
Why I’m sharing this here
I’m used to publishing technical work — papers, datasets, code.
This zine is different.
It’s still research, in a way.
Just human-scale.
If it resonates with you, you’re not alone.
— Nastya (Anastasiia)